The day before Justin Halpern proposed to his wife, he told his father what he was about to do. In typical fashion, his dad was unimpressed by this life-changing decision. Their conversation about his plan is where the book begins.
“You’ve been dating her four years, it ain’t like you invented a parallel fucking universe.”
But his dad could tell he was nervous and needed a push, so he gave Justin some advice: to take an entire day, go off somewhere on his own, think about all the things he’d learned about women, relationships, and himself over the years, and make an “educated guess” as to whether this was the right decision.
Justin followed his advice, and at the end of the day, decided that he wanted to go ahead with his decision to put that ring on Amanda’s finger, but also that the events and people he recalled during this daylong trip down memory lane would be a really funny subject for his next book.
Justin’s journey through his past, told chronologically so that the reader’s experience echoes his own, will include: his nine-year-old fear that on his wedding night not only would his wife see him naked but that he was also obligated to have sex with her; being the last of his friends to lose his virginity at age twenty, while being the dishwasher at Hooters; taking a trip to Europe in hopes that maybe women were easier to talk to overseas, only to find that the only people he could carry on a conversation with were an Asian man who wore all denim and a one-ankled eighty-year-old obsessed with John F. Kennedy; and finally, the conversation he had with his father as he drove him to the airport to get on a plane to fly to San Francisco to propose to Amanda.