Contrary to popular belief, not all zombies are created alike. Some of us like to have our brains, and eat them too (not our own, of course!). My name is Jack Barnes, and yes, I am a zombie. But I am NOT one of those garden-variety vacant-eyed undead idiots. After the zombie outbreak, by some miracle, I have retained my sentience. (Sorry for the big word; in my former incarnation, I was a professor of Contemporary American Literature.) I can even write. And I have a Dream-I want to bring peace between zombies and humans.

But I need the help of our creator, Howard Stein, the man responsible for the zombie virus. I've set off on a grueling cross-country journey to plead my case. Along the way I've met more like me, rotting brain-eaters who still possess some sort of cognitive ability. We've banded into a small army who will stop at nothing-well, maybe a few quick cerebrum snacks-to reach our maker.

Let me introduce my wonderfully lively (pun intended!) crew. Meet Guts, an agile, dread-locked boy who can run like the wind. Joan, a matronly nurse adept at re-attaching appendages and securing spilled innards. Annie, a young girl with a fierce quick-draw. And Ros, who can actually speak coherent sentences. Together we are making our way through an eerie new world of roving zombie hunters, empty McMansions, and clogged highways on a quest to attain what all men, women-and yes, zombies-yearn for: equality.

Please, sit back while I tell you my story-a gore-splattered, blood-soaked, sometimes humorous, and surprisingly touching tale that will make you a believer. Are you ready?